How come sometimes we can feel like we have laid our hearts wide open for someone and the message is just not getting through? And why is it in some relationships we do our very best to understand each other’s emotional language but we can’t? Let’s see if the language of astrology can help us to decode the emotional language of the people we love the most and hold close to our hearts.
I’ve been working with astrology, families, and relationships for many years, and no matter how complicated things may look, a lot can be understood by understanding the moon. First of all, the moon is personal. We can hold other planets away from us, but the moon has a tendency to walk right through everything and into our system. To be very direct I would say that If you can’t have a relationship with your friend or partner’s moon, then you will never be close. The moon is about trust at the deepest level.
The reason for this is that the moon is connected the time you spent in your mother’s womb, what you needed to feel safe and secure, and this instinctual need follows you through your life. No matter how much you evolve, your moon will show how you instinctively give love and what you need from others to feel emotionally secure.
If you don’t know your moon sign, there are plenty of online resources, such as astro.com, for finding out based on your birthdate, time, and location. Now let’s look at the different astrological signs.
Moon in fiery signs: Aries, Leo, Saggitarius – has a need to feel special and unique. To be the one and only, one of a kind, to be first and to receive special treatment. They show you they love you by doing something special, just for you.
Moon in earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn – feel secure by being practical, planning and doing things. Anything from baking a cake to having the right kind of sweater can make them feel safe. They show you they love you by cooking for you, fixing your car, paying your bills and filling up the refrigerator.
Moon in air signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius – feel secure by people listening to them, talking about different scenarios about what might or might not happen. They show you they love you by saying it to you in many different ways, from love notes to whispers in the ear. They call you and text you.
Moon in water signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces – they feel secure by kissing, hugging, and touching and this is also how they show their love for you.
David and his supercool dad Mike
David is six years old his moon is in earthly Taurus and he is starting school. David is quite nervous about this and has planned a lot before the start of school, something that his dad Mike has picked up on. Mike’s moon is in the sign of fiery Leo.
Mike is worried the other kids will pick on David because he is a bit shy, so they go shopping together. The coolest shoes, clothes, and schoolbag. Mike believes that if David looks really cool (and unique, a fiery thing) everything will be alright.
But David is not worried about that. He doesn’t want to be cool and have the other kids looking at him. He worries more about being late in the morning, not knowing what to do, and that his dad is going to act all cool and make the other moms stare and flirt with him. Perhaps even his teacher—that is so embarrassing! David wants pens, and pencils and an extra-large schedule to put up on the refrigerator so his dad doesn’t forget anything important.
Simon and how superhero shoes became an old hat
Simon is 10 years old and he has the opposite problem. He has the moon in Aries and he would love to have a Mike as a parent (well, not really, just right now). His mother Irma has her moon in Capricorn. Simon has really, really tried to tell his mom that he needs that special pair of running shoes. That they would make him run like a superhero and everyone would see that. Somehow that discussion ended with Simon inheriting (earth and Capricorn) his older brother’s hat, and it is supposed to make him feel safe and protected in the school yard. On top of things, the hat is home-knitted by his mother with a lot of love and protection, she says. Simon does not doubt that, it just not the right “bling”- thing for him.
Anna and a cold car
Anna has her moon in Taurus. She has been married to Jennie for over seven years and now she is convinced that Jennie doesn’t love her anymore. Jennie has her moon in Gemini. Anna has waited for things to change and now she can’t hold it back anymore, so she tells it all to Jennie. That she is convinced that she does not love her anymore and that she suspects that Jennie has found someone else.
Jennie seems really confused and does not seem to know what Anna is talking about. Don’t I tell you (air) every morning that I love you? she asks. Yes you do, Anna answers.
Don’t I text (air) you every day and call you on my way back from home? Yes, you do.
So, then what in heaven’s name is it? How can you believe that I don’t love you anymore?
The cold car, Anna answers. Every day for years you have always warmed up the car for me in the mornings. And made the windows free from ice. And now for the last months you haven’t. So I was sure that you didn’t love me anymore. (earth)
Jennie gives her a big kiss. You silly woman! The reason for that is that they are reconstructing the road to work. I don’t have as much time in the mornings. If I’d known how much it means to you, I would have gotten up earlier!
A happy birthday with a sad sister
Margo has her moon in watery Pisces. She is very creative and work as a well-known makeup artist. She decides to give her sister Elsa something special as a birthday gift: a back stage pass to her favorite rock band. Elsa has her moon in Saggitarius and loves adventures, so this should be a great evening.
Elsa is happy for her birthday gift and the evening has a great start. At the concert they spontaneously meet a few of Elsa’s friends from work. When they find out that Margo and Elsa got backstage passes, they ask I they can come along and Margo says, yes, of course they can! Margo feels like the coolest sister ever, very happy that she can invite Elsa’s friends as well.
At the party after the concert Margo can see that Elsa is not having fun. She’s not herself and the evening does not lift off at all. Now Margo is disappointed and feel misunderstood. What is wrong she asks Elsa. Did you not like meeting you favorite band? Well, so did my co-workers, answers Margo. I thought this was going to be a special (fire) evening for just you and me. Now everyone else at work has done the same thing. I’d rather do something ese, just you and me to celebrate my special (fire) evening and birthday.
It’s not about right or wrong
How you reacted to the stories above could be very different. Shouldn’t David be happy about his dad buying him new stuff? And shouldn’t Simon appreciate the knitted hat? And how could Anna read so much into a cold car? And isn’t Elsa being behaving like a spoiled kid?
Perhaps, and perhaps not. Because it is not about right or wrong. It is about what we need to feel safe and loved. How we instinctively show our love, and how we believe that the way we do it, is how others need it. By knowing what our partner, child, siblings, and friends need to feel secure and safe we find a way into their hearts and into more balanced relationships. With this “moon key” we may very well find that our loved ones show us so much more love and appreciation than we knew. We just did not have the key to see it! There are many ways to say “I love you.”
Karin Ugander is a spiritual channeler living in the south of Sweden. In Scandinavia she is known for the AstroNumerology and Psychic readings she’s been doing for over 20 years. Together with her husband Niklas, she runs KaniSkolan, a school of astrology, numerology, tarot, StarCode Healing, and natural medicine. They are also the founders of Alven Inner Ring tradition, a Scandinavian mystery school with roots in shamanism and magick. Karin loves to create magickal oils, flower essences and sigils she combines in her “Karin Victoria” sigil candles and flower sprays. In her spare time she likes to travel, walk in the forest with her dog, and spend time by the ocean. Karin is a high priestess and graduate of the Temple of Witchcraft’s seminary program.
You can find Karin Ugander at Instagram @flowerpowerwitch and @karinuganderofficial