Don’t get me wrong, I love birthday parties. I love everything from the presents and the cake to the decorations and gathering of family and friends. But I do know that from the perspective of the one having the birthday, that particular day is often a strange one. We have four children and, as a family of six, we have experienced the chaos of birthdays many times. Everything should be great: party with your best friends, specially-made cake and gifts. What’s not to love? And still, a feeling of melancholy usually moves in. If the children are small that uneasy feeling can come out as crying, discomfort, tantrums, and not being at all in the right mood for party. Then the doorbell rings, the guests arrive, and everybody pretends to be happy and that all is well.
So, what’s going on? What energies are at work at your birthday?
The number is about what you have become
Many forget that the time up until your first birthday you do not “own” or carry the power of being one yet. If you have dedicated parents (usually parents with their first child) they celebrate you becoming 1 week, then 1 month, 6 months and then finally…tada! You are one year old. That means you have lived for one full year. To be direct, you have survived long enough to celebrate that first year. Now, as the years continue, people (me included) tend to forget that. We say: Happy 25th birthday, how does it feel to be twenty-five? And we think about them as starting their 25th year. But the truth is that, on that day, you begin your 26th trip around with the sun. Your 25th birthday is a marker that you have already made twenty-five rounds, and this is an important key to understanding the energies at play at your birthday. You are closing one circle or frequencies of energy to open up another. At your birthday you are literally in a place between the gates, between what has been, what is, and what shall be. This becomes extra important at big birthdays like becoming 30, 40, or 50, and so on. At your 30th birthday you are putting a sigil on your 30th trip around the sun. These ages are commonly celebrated a lot, but in the world of Numerology ages like 9, 18, 27, 36, and 54 (following the number 9) always indicate a big change. Birthdays are sacred and deserve attention and quite a bit of introspection as well, no matter what age we are becoming.
The Sun and the Hero
The sun is in one way the easiest planet to understand in the astrological chart, and in another way the most mysterious. When we say “I’m a Gemini” what we really mean is that the sun was in that sign when we were born. It says nothing about all the other planets, signs, and cool stuff in the chart. So why is that the one that we talk about the most?
It is said that the sun is telling what kind of Hero you are here to become. So, if you are born in the sign of Aries, you are here to be a brave, courageous, and direct Hero. You cannot and should not try to become something else. If you are born a Virgo you have come here to analyze, make things more effective, and use your sharp mind. What you can do, as an Aries, is to make use of your empathy, and as a Virgo make sure you are connected to your heart as well as your mind. But to say to a Virgo to stop thinking, a Leo to stop shining, and a Taurus to stop working for abundance, that’s just a waste of time and you are hindering them from becoming the Hero they are here to be.
When Things Hit Your Sun
When something “hits” your sun, when you have some other planets affecting the sun in your birth chart, it feels personal—and it is. When Saturn (limitations, structure) makes a challenging aspect to your Sun, you feel small, unworthy and like the world is on your shoulders. “Nobody loves me!” When Jupiter (expansion, luck) makes a nice aspect to your Sun you can take on the whole world, and you shine very bright. “Bring it on baby!” (Yes, you can be overconfident with this aspect). All aspects to your Sun affect how you see yourself, your self-worth, and your ability to shine in the world.
Around your birthday, the sun returns to the same place as when you were born, that’s called a solar return. (This can happen the day before your birthday, on your birthday, and the day after.) When this happens, your inner sun in the birth chart, is aligned to the cosmic sun. We can call that a double hit of solar energy. It’s a strong energy wave with a mix of personal (your inner Sun) and transpersonal energies (the cosmic Sun) beaming right into your heart. (The Sun rules the sign of Leo, which rules the heart in the body.) No wonder we may feel everything from overloaded to feeling strange and a bit sad as well.
Why Moms Are a Bit Strange at Birthdays
Most moms are a bit strange at their children’s birthdays. Even if we try not to show it and would not admit to it, we are different on that day. When you were born, your mother literally stood at the gate between the worlds and held a space for your incarnation. Anything can happen at birth. Giving birth and being born is a chance at its best and a trauma at its worst. It’s one of the most intense experiences that will happen during your life, both for mother and the child. That changes you, whether the birth is considered a normal delivery or a dramatic one. You are not the same afterwards. You have been touched by forces of another nature standing at the gates of life.
As the sun returns to the same place as when the baby was born, an echo or energy wave from that moment in time activates and resonates with the mother. It’s strong stuff and that’s one of the reasons why mothers keep on talking about the birth and everything that happened. They need to be allowed to do that. So the next time you see a mother with tears in her eyes at her child’s birthday party, remember that it may not all be the joy or sadness of the child getting older, there may be other forces at work as well. If you are adopted, a similar gate would have opened up the day that your parents “got you,” when you became their child. When one part of your life and theirs changed into something else. The day that you got each other is an important marker in time.
If giving birth to your child was difficult in some way a birthday is a good opportunity to work with healing that experience, no matter how much time that has passed. Since the gates between the worlds are so open at giving birth, it also affects how you perceive and what you experience during rituals and other times when the gates are wide open. If you had a difficult birth yourself, healing that is equally important for the same reasons, and others as well. What happens during our birth colors every new start or “birth” in our lives.
Back to the Birthday Part
Here we are, back at the birthday party. The child having his or her solar return, beamed right into the heart by solar powers, activating, creating, and stirring things around. One numerological cycle ends and another one is opening up. We also have the parents, remembering the time of the birth and re-living whatever happened then. We have the mother getting an echo from the worlds between the worlds. And in the midst of it all we are supposed to be happy, socialize, and be outgoing with others.
So what can you do?
You can still have a party, but what if you set aside the day before your birthday, the actual day, and the day after as sacred days? (If you want to be sure you could take two days before and 2 days after.) Days for you to contemplate, think, or just be? Making a good ending of the year that has been and giving yourself time to open up for the new year. If you have children, I can almost promise you they will be happier and at more peace with themselves after the days around their birthday. You can try this strategy for the big party if you like. Or not. But if you don’t, please remember that it’s okay to not be super-happy at your birthday, in fact it’s more than okay. And if your parents are crying, that’s probably not just about you.
Ceremonies for Your Birthday
Here are some suggestions for ceremonies at or on your birthday. You can make them as small or grand as you like and adopt them to your tradition. You can also do them with your children. Before you start, prepare the space by cleaning it and all the things you will use, in a way that feels right to you. End the ceremony with giving thanks to the spirits that have been present, depending on your tradition or belief system. Make sure that you clean up after you.
Water: Take a glass of water and tell it what you are ready to release. It can be about the year that has passed. It can also be something deeper. Release the water in the glass in running water or by the sea, river, stream, or the like. See how all the heavy energies leave your life and moves away with the water.
Fill another glass with something tasty and good. For this I like something with strawberry for love and luck. Tell it your wishes for a good year, make a toast, and drink it up. Imagine all the good tings coming into life and how you light up from the inside and out.
Fill the glass a second time and make a wish for the planet/the world, pour it out and say your thanks.
Air: Take some flour in your hand. Talk to it about the things that you want to let go of. When you are ready blow it out of your hand and see the heavy energies flying away.
Take some new flour, mix it with either some glitter or natural dye. Think about all the good things you want in your life, then sprinkle it around you, on you and in your hair. Se how you become shining and beautiful, attracting all good things and see how they manifest out of thin air, in your life.
Take some sparkling flour a second time. Make a prayer for the world, sprinkle it around and release the good winds to the world. Say your thanks.
Earth: Take a small stone or crystal in your hand. Tell it about what you are ready to let go of, then bury the stone, knowing deep inside that it will help you with that.
Take another stone or crystal, ask it to help you bring in good things in your life. See how the stone starts glowing with love, luck, and good things. Carry the stone in your pocket or put it beside your bed.
Take a second stone. Make a prayer for the world, bury it and see how it’s seeded in the world, say your thanks.
Fire: Take a small piece of paper and write down no more than three words about what you are ready to release. Then burn it up in a fireproof dish and see how the heavy energies transforms. Take another paper and write three words about what you want for the coming year. Burn that as well and see how it becomes an arrow of light, brining you good things.
Center: Put charcoal in a cauldron and an appropriate incense. Say out loud what you want to release and then jump over the cauldron, leaving the heavy energies behind.
Put on some new incense, say out loud what you want in your life instead and then jump over the cauldron and right into your bright future!
The third time you put incense in the cauldron, say a prayer for the world and give your thanks.
With this, I guess there’s just one more thing for me to say:
— Karin Spirit Talker Turtle Red
Karin Ugander (Spirit Talker Turtle Red) is a spiritual channeler living in the south of Sweden. In Scandinavia she is known for the AstroNumerology and psychic readings she’s been doing for over 20 years. Together with her husband Niklas, she runs KaniSkolan, a school of astrology, numerology, tarot, StarCode Healing, and natural medicine. They are also the founders of Alven Inner Ring tradition, a Scandinavian mystery school with roots in shamanism and magick. Karin loves to create magickal oils, flower essences and sigils she combines in her “Karin Victoria” sigil candles and flower sprays. In her spare time she likes to travel, walk in the forest with her dog, and spend time by the ocean. Karin is a high priestess and graduate of the Temple of Witchcraft’s seminary program.