Recently, in the midst of apologizing about myself, the person interrupted and quietly replied, “I see no imperfections, only that which makes you your own particular version of being a human, so in that individual sense: perfect.”
It stopped me mid self-diatribe and I was silent. For a very long moment, still as stone, letting those words sink in. What if I could actually, permanently think about myself like that? Instead of all the inner critic, self hatred, imposter syndrome nonsense? What if I could actually believe that I am perfectly me? Lovely, loved, and just right: me. What if I could truly believe that: without needing someone who mattered be required to say it out loud and affirm it for me?
Yes, yes, I know. I know. We are always growing, changing, evolving or devolving. But what if, in the here and now, in this beautiful space in time, what if I could believe that I inside, outside, upside down was perfectly as I ought to be right now. What if you could do that, too? Just for right now. Just for this minute we could both breathe and say, “I am the exact version of me that I am meant to be in this moment.”
What if we could then extend that grace out towards each other? Again, not excusing evil, oppression, or injustice… but for us common folk… what if we could look at each other without judgement and simply say, “There’s Ben/Sally. They are just great.” And focus on that. Perhaps, during our next ritual, we see the circle as truly luminous and smile across at our fellow witches, friends, and guests with the firm inner knowing that this is exactly how this particular circle, in this present moment, is supposed to be? Could we do that as a collective?
When we do that, perhaps we can widen the sphere to include all the wheels within wheels within the great web. Embrace this particular place in space and time as its own version of perfection? Could we do that for one minute? Could we perhaps understand that there is a higher good at play? That we each are doing our part? Even if we don’t understand it. Even if some of the lessons contained within it are sharp, painful, and filled with an utter lack of understanding why. Why won’t that person love me? Why can’t my job be better? Why did this awful thing have to happen? Why can’t things get better here, now? Why am I still overwhelmed by seemingly every single thing? Why does this beautiful moment have to end? Why did it have to die?
Breathe, Beloved. Breathe.
We live in a world that rarely tells us we are perfect. Rather we are told over and over and over again that we are not good enough. Broken. Almost there. Not quite. Better luck next time. Foolish. Silly. A dreamer. Ridiculous. Too much.
We can stop saying those lies now. We can stop believing those half-truths. Those words aren’t helping any of us anymore. Those words, like baneful spells, fill us with shame, self-hatred, self-loathing, and many times, self-inflicted isolation. Nothing good comes from those words. Do what you can to implement change where needed. Do that. Having done that: just be.
Breathe, Beloved. Breathe.
What if together, we put aside the harshness and picked up love and mercy for ourselves and each other? What if, even if we have to slam a boundary down and say, quite frankly, “Fuck off!” (and freaking mean it), we can also, by the same token, understand that we will never be able to plumb the depths of what that fellow human has gone through or is currently going through to make them their version of human? Doesn’t mean you have to invite the rascal to dinner or bring them to bed. However; perhaps within the great wheel and web of the cosmos, they too are perfectly imperfect. Perhaps, all is actually as it ought to be in this moment in time.
Perhaps, we can start by beginning to believe, for one minute, that as I am (and as you are) right now, is just right.
Ready, set, go….
Erica Sittler is a Witch practicing her craft in Mississippi where she is a local, active member of the Temple of Witchcraft. Her magick is in the mundane and in bringing honor and attention to those small things that build a sustainable and adventurous life. She is a Temple Mystery School student under the instruction of High Priestess Sellena Dear.