Perhaps it’s not in the resolution.
Perhaps rather, it is a quiet undoing.
Undoing in a two fold sense: the literal making something come undone and then secondly the other definition of “un” which is “not”… so “not doing”.
For me, right now in the season in which this witch finds herself, it is I myself which is becoming “undone”. Laughing ruefully. I am my own undoing. Willingly. In class, we are taught that things get turned upside down as we progress through the course. That is very true. What is even more true; however, even more profound: is this simple fact of how the Universe works in the micro. As in, if you are even just a modicum of intentional about moving your life forward… not great profound leaps… but small little changes day by day or week by week… the topsy turvy, inside out, shaking out of your life, your patterns, your beliefs… what you think is YOU… that movement towards self awareness, self discovery, self interest irresolutely gains momentum. Till you “suddenly” find yourself where I am today, sitting with all these varied aspects of yourself and examining each piece that comprises your whole identity and saying,m with earnest contemplation, “is this really me or is this something I “put on” or adapted to in order to survive my life at that moment in time or that particular situation?”
If you grew up in a highly toxic, physically abusive home, you may find you “escaped” into a different realm, full of deception and emotional abuse. When you finally have the courage to leave that situation perhaps you run straight into an even darker form of mental abuse. Somehow, your fierce, stubborn soul refuses to accept this version of reality and be tamed. Very slowly you start to come into your true self. First in this one area and then in that one. Maybe over here gets some work, and well now, perhaps that over there can be examined or confessedly acknowledged. There are vast stretches within ourselves, either known or unknown that simply aren’t noticed or bothered with for vast stretches of time.
Everything can’t be tackled at once. Thank goodness! So we can use this dark time of the year for reflective undoing. For sifting compassionately and openly, sifting for truths about ourselves. Who am I right now? Not the past versions of me, but the me as I am in this moment? What parts of the “me” that I have created or become are no longer serving my best self interest? That sacred sovereignty that is mine and mine alone? How do I undo the knots with which I am bound? Either by myself or by others? Willingly or unwillingly? What minuscule thing can I do, here in the darkness, here, without striving, that will make my small personal cosmos of today better, even if it appears to be just a pebble or a rock, when I wish to move mountains?
Sit in the dark, Beloved. Allow yourself that grace. The grace to burrow down in the quiet. Do nothing. Nothing but take a breath and think slowly with great empathy and kindness towards yourself, like some giant leviathan floating on the ocean…effortless… suspended …and then another gentle nothing breathe… and a knot loosens… a cord comes undone… a truth comes softly shining and you reach for it and kiss it gently, fondly, and wonder quietly to yourself, “Do I eat it or put it in my pocket? How do I savor this truth best?”
My suggestion is that is the sort of intimate question between you and that particular truth alone to know the answer.
Erica Sittler is a Witch practicing her craft in Mississippi where she is an active member of the Temple of Witchcraft. Her magick is in the mundane and in bringing honor and attention to those small things that build a sustainable and adventurous life. She is a Temple Mystery School student under the instruction of High Priestess Sellena Dear.